02-08-2020 by Mirai
Happiness lies in the ability to savor the present moment. An attitude that is acquired by positively impacting the inevitable daily concerns.
Far from being external to us, happiness comes from ourselves. It is found in the pleasure of living, in the desire and desire to exist, explains the psychoanalyst Moussa Nabati. Therefore, it is not enough to be young, rich and in good health to be happy.
A personal vision of happiness.
Everyone has their own version of happiness. Using a beautiful metaphor, the philosopher Teilhard de Chardin described its forms: during an excursion to the mountain, some, finding the way too steep, return to the refuge to rest there (happiness of tranquility); believing they have climbed enough, others stop halfway to admire the scenery (happiness of pleasure). Finally, the latter continue to sweat to reach the top (happiness of development).
Happiness grows over the years.
Like great wines, the capacity for happiness develops over the years.
"Our experience of life increases our intelligence of happiness," explains Dr. Christophe André, a psychiatrist.
Happiness is the affirmation of a personal desire and not the fulfillment of the standards that the consumer society wants to impose on us.
By making us believe that it is necessary to have to be happy, she maintains the confusion between desire and need. "I have often noticed that people who are satisfied with their lives consume little," says the psychiatrist.
Don't make yourself unhappy
Certain childhood sufferings that have not been appeased sometimes prevent us from granting ourselves the right to happiness, as if we did not deserve it.
Happiness requires a minimum of self-esteem, but also freedom of thought. An independent person knows better how to face the difficulties of life and enjoy its benefits.
"All the work shows that it is easier to improve our mood by taking action than thinking," says Dr. André. Who suggests that we adapt our minds to situations that could make us unhappy.
Avoid black thoughts on a daily basis
Negative emotions arise with stress. Instead of protesting traffic jams, ask yourself why you're in a bad mood. By being aware of your moods, you can control them better.
How we view the world depends very little on our judgment, although it is profoundly influenced by our state of mind.
When sadness conquers us, we see life in black. Surrendering to the feeling of unhappiness can go from emotion (I feel miserable) to sight (I have a miserable life). Instead of repeating our ills, let's either react and dive into a thriller or go to the movies. Taking refuge in his corner, he is caught in a spiral: the less he gets out, the less sociable he is and the sadder he is.
"The purpose of enjoyable activities is not to make us happy, but to keep the discomfort from getting worse or taking root," adds Dr. André.
Changing perspectives on happiness
Some mental dispositions should be favored that will allow us to adopt the attitude advocated by the proverb: "It is better to see the glass half full than the glass half empty".
Don't be overwhelmed by anxiety: always planning the worst, we parasitize our good mood. Seeing things with optimism, without falling for the Coué method, has an undeniable positive effect.
Put minor events in their rightful place. If someone close to you has been unfair to you, avoid overreacting so as not to damage relationships. Allow your anger or sadness to dissolve over time, helping you put the facts in perspective.
As often as possible, enjoy every moment of happiness, even if it means writing them down.
Face the trials of life, instead of repressing your suffering.
"The psyche becomes impoverished, loses its sensitivity by becoming much less receptive to the entire emotional palette, including experiences of pleasure. Happiness can only be experienced alternately with its opposite," concludes Moussa Nabati.
Happiness, an aptitude to be acquired from childhood.
A child is a great observer who is taught life lessons in spite of himself. His reactions to events are not lost on him. Learn how to set a good example by having the right reactions. Teach them to put their concerns into perspective, through humor or a healthy laugh. Help him savor the moments of happiness that you offer him. It is the best gift you can give him. On the other hand, spoiling a child does not make him happier.
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