How to boost self-esteem?

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Self-esteem is a foundation that allows you to grow with serenity, find the energy to undertake and above all allow yourself to be happy. A very fragile notion. Hence the importance of developing it to regain self-confidence.

Self-esteem is the ability to love yourself for who you are and to value yourself enough. A person with good self-esteem is naturally convinced that he has the right to happiness or, at least, that he can enjoy the good things in life.

As a result, you allow yourself to take steps for a successful life, develop your skills, and progress in your personal and social life. In short, keep going.

Act without inhibitions for a successful life

The essential energy for this effort arises naturally. Especially since the risk of failure has no inhibiting effect. In fact, when self-esteem is strong enough, failures and disappointments are analyzed for what they are: the ups and downs of life, bad luck, or errors in judgment that we can learn from, and not confirmation of disability. and low personal value.

A positive dynamic

Self-esteem works as a dynamic of positive reinforcement. The child who believes in her possibilities achieves better academic success, with equal abilities, than the one who doubts herself.

However, self-esteem, which does not exclude doubt and self-criticism, should not be confused with narcissism. The narcissistic individual cannot bear criticism and his self-confidence is artificial. Easily collapses in case of breakdown.

Self-esteem is an inner and social life force, a factor for success, because it allows you to give the best of yourself and take advantage of your talents and abilities. On the contrary, those who do not dare to think big for their lives because they feel they do not deserve it enters a vicious circle that does not allow them to get out of their state or situations.

Self-esteem acts as a relational valve. It protects us from the judgment of others on what they may have that is arbitrary, unfair or petty. People with low self-esteem are more likely to put the opinions of others before their own, which automatically devalue. This attitude puts them at the mercy of others who thus have the power to make them suffer, to dominate them and to direct their lives.

Other individuals with lack of self-esteem will adopt, on the contrary, positions of domination: aggressive and angry reactions, "paranoid" reflexes, excessive jealousy, narcissism, tendency to crush those who are perceived as weaker or less (impact on the education of the children).

What can undermine self-esteem?

No one is protected from all the vagaries of life. Even when we are comfortable with our lives and with ourselves, some setbacks can make us doubt ourselves. Particularly when these dangers arise in areas that are important to us: for professional success; for the other, the realization of love.

Depending on the case, a layoff or a divorce will be particular attacks on self-esteem from which it is more difficult to recover. And when the vagaries of life multiply the blows to our sensitive spots, we can all fall into the vicious cycle of loss of self-esteem.

A victim of bullying ends up being devalued

Self-esteem can also be intentionally undermined by others. This is typically the process of bullying: that of a supervisor or a spouse, that of groups of children or adolescents who attack an individual to subject them to "bullying".

When the cause of low self-esteem dates back to childhood

Lastly, self-esteem can be seen, and this is the case most often, undermined at the base, from childhood, during the construction of the personality. Through abusive behaviors of adults towards the minor.

But also, in a more banal way, for an education that accumulated bullying without evaluating the child's progress. Education often inflicted by parents with low self-esteem themselves, who unconsciously seek reassurance in the domain of the weakest and who mechanically repeat the educational patterns of their own parents.

How to regain self-esteem?

When self-confidence weakens as a result of economic events, it is important to gain personal security by drawing on the fundamental foundation of self-esteem. It is about reactivating positive thoughts and avoiding the vicious cycle of personal mistrust.

Go to people you trust

It is also advisable to seek dialogue with trusted people, friends or family that you know well, especially people whose speech and personality is valued.

Get help from a professional

If the support of your loved ones does not allow you to get out of this internal stagnation, do not hesitate to consider outside help.

It is up to you to assess whether you need to enter into a personal development process (such as coaching, for exampleo) instead of therapy (brief, corporal, supportive or even analytical therapy). Know that certain therapies, such as NLP or transactional analysis, can be intermediate.

In any case, seeking professional help should not be viewed as an admission of failure, but rather as a positive step. This help, you deserve it: it is a first step on the scale of self-esteem.

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